From the producers of The Lovely Bones …

… comes a true-crime supernatural thriller in which Jean-Benet’s ghost helps to solve her own murder: Boldergeist.

Girth Brooks …

… free to a good home. I’m not sure whether it’s a porn name, drag name, or band name. As for Shish Kabal, well, I’m still working on it.

Through the Looking Glacé, Or: On the Sugar-Coating of Fantasy Literature

You know what they never make bombs out of?

Slow cookers.

There are no Crock Pots of murder, but pressure cookers? L&O:SVU has you covered.

Tired and Wired …

… twired.

Either what a toddler is most of the time, or the result of drinking original 4-Loko and similar.

First we drink Manhattans

… then we eat Berliners.

Back in my day …

… we didn’t call it non-binary. We called it David Bowie.

Can Brad and Angelina …

… take a lesson from “Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993) and learn to get along for the sake of the kids? (Mainly: Brad — study this, become a nanny …)

Song 9

It’s where you re-edit Winterbottom’s “9 Songs”, all the musical cues are from Blur, and every sex scene is punctuated by “Woo-hoo!”

Wait, wait, hear me out …

Clearly Viggo Mortensen became David Cronenberg’s muse, but more importantly, it’s clearly the case that A History of Violence and Eastern Promises are Cronenberg’s takes on Raw Deal and Red Heat respectively, with Viggo in the Arnold roles. Right?