Slow cookers.

There are no Crock Pots of murder, but pressure cookers? L&O:SVU has you covered.

… twired.

Either what a toddler is most of the time, or the result of drinking original 4-Loko and similar.

… then we eat Berliners.

… we didn’t call it non-binary. We called it David Bowie.

… take a lesson from “Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993) and learn to get along for the sake of the kids? (Mainly: Brad — study this, become a nanny …)

It’s where you re-edit Winterbottom’s “9 Songs”, all the musical cues are from Blur, and every sex scene is punctuated by “Woo-hoo!”

Clearly Viggo Mortensen became David Cronenberg’s muse, but more importantly, it’s clearly the case that A History of Violence and Eastern Promises are Cronenberg’s takes on Raw Deal and Red Heat respectively, with Viggo in the Arnold roles. Right?

… Dateline is all about white women in Utah being killed by their boyfriends or husbands, so they should change the title of the show.

… here comes Jonald.

As of mid-2021 (let’s say, May) there are few “hits” for “Plaid Țepeș” out there, though there are a few related to a role-playing game (session, or summary of session(s)). I do imagine Plaid as a hipster vampire. Plaid the Upcycling Tailor. As is often the case, I come up with something mildly witty, and then look for that string of words online, only to be — mildly — disappointed that such a combination already has a history. See also: Arson Welles (which we thought would be a great drag or roller derby name) … also an old musical artist (on Twitter since 2010), self-described on Facebook as a pop punk trio.